


Thank You for Helping Me All Those Times You Did

by Silver_89



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Book Spoilers, Gen, Nemesis Games and Babylon's Ashes spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-12-31 05:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12125757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_89/pseuds/Silver_89
Summary: An exploration of Amos and Naomi's relationship prior to the Canterbury.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have read the Origins comics and their established canon for how Amos and Naomi met; however, I wanted to explore these two characters and their relationship with my own ideas.

Heart pounding in her chest, Naomi rounded a corner into the red light district. It was bound to be busy at this time of night. He wasn’t far behind. She zigzagged her way through people, ignoring the calls and whistles of prostitutes hoping to earn her money. Glancing behind her, Naomi startled to find him so close, hand reaching out to grab ahold.

She bolted to the left and up a set of stairs, narrowly dodging a man still buttoning his pants. The sound of a grunt behind her told her the pursuer had not been so lucky. Naomi risked another glance back then yelped in surprise when she collided with someone as solid as the rock the station had been carved from.

Sharp pain lanced up her arm from her wrist when she hit the ground and she gasped, clutching it to her chest. Naomi looked up at the man she’d run into, his brows pinched together in concern, before she spotted her pursuer stomping up the stairs. She scrambled backwards and the stranger’s attention turned to the other man approaching. He set his feet in a wide stance and crossed his arms.

“Get lost.”

“Xia na pelesh to, tumang sabaka!”

“Don’t know what that means yet but I’m sure I’ve been called worse. Fuck off.”

“Get out of here, Nico. I’m not going back and you can tell him that too,” she said, getting to her feet. She stayed at least halfway behind the large man’s shoulder.

“Naomi, he just wants to t-” he was cut short when a massive hand grabbed his throat and lifted him off the ground with ease. Nico clawed at the hand as he was forced back towards the stairs.

“Stop it! You’re hurting him!” Naomi cried, tugging at the man’s arm. He frowned at her in confusion before shrugging and shoving Nico away. Nico stumbled back and looked ready to argue again before Naomi sent him a rude hand gesture and spat in his direction. He returned the gesture with one of his own before turning and skulking down the stairs.

Naomi watched him go, cradling her stinging wrist. She turned back to the man that helped her to find him already walking away.

“Hey, wait!” She caught up to him and he stopped. “Sorry you got dragged into that but thank you for helping me.”

“He’s gonna come back,” he said flatly. Naomi was taken aback and looked at him incredulously.

“You’re saying I should’ve let you kill him?” He stared at her for a moment before shrugging and continuing on his way. She followed.

“Just saying he’s not gonna let up.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Need to get some ice on that wrist.” He stopped in front of a door, pulling a hand terminal from his pocket to unlock it. “You’re shaking too.”

Naomi was confused for a second before she realized she was indeed shivering. Her wrist had begun to throb and she winced. The door slid open and he stood to the side.

“You can lay low here if you want. Don’t got much but I’ve got ice.”

Naomi stared at him for several seconds. Only thing she knew about this man was he nearly killed someone for chasing her. And yet, she wasn’t afraid. She didn’t know how she knew but she knew he meant her no harm.

“What’s your name?”

“Amos. Amos Burton.”


	2. Chapter 2

She stepped into the small flat and tried to school her features into a neutral mask as the stench of sex and alcohol hit her nose. Dim lights flickered on revealing an unmade bed on the right, what had to be a doorway to the bathroom in the far right corner, a desk built into the far wall, and a tiny kitchen to the left. Even by station standards it was small and made Amos look even bigger than he was.

Cans and bottles of alcohol littered whatever surface area was available but Amos seemed completely unbothered by a stranger seeing his mess of a home. Naomi wondered if he even called it that. He pulled a gel pack from the freezer and wrapped it in a hand towel. The unmistakable sound of sex-making reached her ears and she suddenly remembered where she was.

“So, do you . . .?” He cocked his head at her, waiting, holding out the ice pack. “Are you a . . . ?”

“Would you have a problem if I was?”

“No! No, I’m sorry. That was rude.” She took the ice pack from him and gingerly applied it to her wrist, sitting down on a corner of the bed.

Amos shrugged.

“If money’s tight I can. But I didn’t really come all the way out here to do the same thing.” He stared off into the distance for a moment before shaking his head and returning his attention to her. Naomi was suddenly curious but held her tongue. “Why? Did you want to fuck?”

“I- What?” She stared at him with wide eyes. “No! No, I came here to get away from Nico. Thought I could lose him in the crowd.” She swore his shoulders dropped in relief. Amos nodded once and turned toward his desk, pulling up displays on a vid screen. Naomi was relieved he didn’t press about Nico or why he was after her. “I’m not keeping you from clients am I? Should I go?”

“Nah, this one’s on the house,” he smiled and winked at her and whatever reservations she still had melted away. Amos nodded at the screen and she walked over to the desk. “Mostly I keep an eye out for the others. Keep ‘em safe.” She saw a layout of the district’s flats, each of them with differently colored dots shining in the middle. “This thing tells me if they’ve got a client or not and it’ll tell me if they’ve activated their panic button.”

“Did you set this up yourself?” He nodded. “It’s amazing!”

“Wasn’t hard. Just a bunch of sensors,” Amos shrugged but she caught him trying to hide a shy smile. “How’s the wrist? Got some pain meds too if you want.” She shook her head and held out her arm at his gesture. Gently, he prodded with his fingers and slowly articulated the joint, watching her face.

“You a medic too?”

“Nah, just seen my fair share of broken wrists.”

“Yours or somebody else’s?” She asked jokingly.

“Both,” he retorted with a smirk. “Doesn’t look broken to me but get it checked out if you want.”

Naomi accepted the ice pack from him again and moved back to the bed. She watched him pull up something to read on a separate screen, the district monitors blinking quietly right next to it. He left her alone but didn’t ignore her and Naomi realized she hadn’t felt this comfortable around someone in a long time. It was baffling. The voice in her head still rang warning bells but something deeper told her she was safe. Maybe she was more fucked up than she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took the last paragraph from the previous chapter and put it here because I agreed with a critique that pointed out it was in Amos' POV while the rest of Ch. 2 was in Naomi's so it would fit better here. Coincidentally, that is also why it took me a little longer to get Ch. 3 posted. Had something completely different in mind but that's now going to be Ch. 4.
> 
> Anyway, I'm actually really pleased with the direction this took and hope you enjoy as well! Thank you for reading! :)

When Amos turned back to her, he was surprised to find Naomi sound asleep.  That is what Nico called her, right?  She had her chin tucked to her chest and hand resting on the ice pack.  He cocked his head and watched her for a few moments.  Sleep didn’t come to him easily as it was; he didn’t understand how Naomi just fell asleep right next to him.  Like she trusted him not to hurt her.  He wasn’t going to but how did she know that?  Amos shook the thoughts from his head and got up.  Slowly, he pulled the ice pack from her arm and returned it to the freezer before grabbing a beer and plopping back down at the desk.

\--

Amos just stepped out of the bathroom running a towel over his damp hair when a chime alerted him to someone at the door.  The sound roused Naomi and she sat up as he made his way across the room.  A screen next to the door showed him who was on the other side.

“The _fuck_  is her kid doing in this place,” he muttered before letting the door slide open.  A young woman with a half-shaven head and a child clinging to her leg stood before him.  Both of them were shaking and he noticed a bruise beginning to purple the woman’s cheek.  “What happened?”

Her voice shook and she spoke quickly, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.  “We had a fight and she got angry again so I left and I have a client in ten minutes, I didn’t know anywhere else to go I-” she spotted Naomi sitting on the bed pretending not to listen.  “Oh, I-I didn’t know you had a client-your light wasn’t on.  I’m sorry. Sytha, let’s go-”

“No, no, it’s fine Rose.  Naomi’s not- It’s fine,” Amos stepped aside and gestured them in.  Rose gently pried her daughter from her leg before crouching down to her eye level.

“I’m sorry honey, but I have to go see a client for a little bit then I’ll come straight back here, okay?”  Sytha whimpered and shook her head, grabbing for her mother.  Rose kissed her forehead and stood up.  “No, no.  You’ve stayed here before, remember?  Remember Amos?”  Sytha’s whimpers became cries and she wouldn’t let go.  Amos wrapped an arm around her waist and helped Rose untangle small fingers from her clothes.  Cries turned into loud wails and Sytha struggled to get out of Amos’ grasp.  Rose looked pained but Amos waved her away with his free hand.

“Go.  It’ll be fine.”  Rose nodded and backed out the door as Amos pulled Sytha away from it. She continued to wail and thrash but succeeded only in wasting her energy.  As soon as the door slid shut, he let her go and the child bolted for the door, clawing at it desperately.

Amos glanced at Naomi and caught her staring at Sytha with an expression akin to shock and sadness, tears streaming down her face.  When she spotted Amos staring, she wiped them away and he averted his gaze.  To his surprise, Naomi stood and approached Sytha and knelt down.  The child stopped wailing and eyed her warily.

“Hey little one.  Your mom will be back soon, okay?”  Her voice was soft and gentle and she dug in her pocket for her hand terminal.  “Would you like to come sit with me and play some games?”  Sytha looked tempted until she glanced at Amos and her face became a pout.  She shook her head and crossed her arms, glaring at him.

“No.  I want Momma.”

“Okay then,” Naomi said, retreating to the bed and sitting down.  “If you change your mind you can come sit with me.”  She stared at Amos and it took him a moment to realize she was giving him a pointed look and then another moment to figure out what she was trying to say until she jerked her head in the direction of the bathroom.

“Uh, I’m gonna go take a shower.”  He hoped he read that right.  She nodded slightly and he headed back into the bathroom, confused as hell.

Amos turned the water on and sighed at his usage limits.  He’d lived with less.  Knowing it was recycled was a cold comfort while watching it go down the drain so he opted to sit on the floor.  Back against the door he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  The bathroom door was a glorified screen and did little to block sound.  Even with the shower running, he heard it when Sytha changed her mind and sat with Naomi. Now it made sense to him.

“Are you scared little one?”  Silence followed, Sytha’s voice too quiet to hear over the water.  “It’s okay to be scared.  Grown ups can be scary, huh?”  It went quiet again for a moment.  “When I was little and scared, my mum would sit me in her lap and run her fingers through my hair and tell me stories.  Would you like that?”  A silent beat and then- “Okay, come here.”

The other side of the door went quiet.  Amos was suddenly struck with a visceral memory of being curled in his mother’s lap.  He couldn’t recall her face or even her voice but he remembered her embrace.  Remembered her hand running through his hair.  Remembered feeling safe and warm and soothed from whatever had upset him.  He smiled softly.

When it had been quiet for several minutes, Amos shut the water off and left the bathroom.  He found Sytha drowsing in Naomi’s lap as she ran fingers through the little girl’s hair.  Naomi looked teary-eyed again but Amos didn’t ask.  He didn’t need to.

“My mom did the same thing,” he said quietly.  Naomi looked surprised for a moment before smiling softly.

\--

Not too long after Sytha fell asleep did Rose return to pick her up.  Naomi gently handed her over into her mother’s arms.

“Thank you both so much for looking after her.  I cancelled the rest of my clients for the week so we can hole up in the flat while I look for one-”

Amos was surprised when Naomi beat him to the protest.

“You can have mine.”

“What?”  Rose and Amos both stared at her, dumbfounded.  “No, no no no no, I couldn’t possibly-”

“Your little girl needs a home.  She needs to be _safe,_ ” Naomi said firmly.

\--

"You just . . . gave up your home."  Amos had never seen anything like it.  He was familiar with charity.  With people giving up clothes they didn't wear anymore, toys their kids no longer played with, food that was going to rot soon.  Never anything that would make a real difference.  And then writing it all off for a tax break while the slums sank further into decay.  He'd never seen someone give up something they actually needed.  To a stranger, no less.  He leaned against the counter, arms crossed and puzzling it out.

"They need it more than I do.  And it wasn't for completely altruistic reasons."  Amos frowned until it clicked.

"Nico will look for you there."  Naomi nodded and sank onto the bed suddenly looking very weary, running her hands over her face.  "Still.  That little girl has a safe place to call home because of you."

"At least someone's child does," she muttered darkly, looking pained.  Amos didn't know what she meant.  He wasn't familiar with guilt; in himself or in others he'd met throughout his life.  But it looked like it was eating her alive.  Whatever she'd done, whatever she was running from, it was bad.

"You're a good person."  Naomi looked up at him, frowning slightly.  "When you spend your whole life surrounded by bad . . . it's kind of easy to spot the good."  She looked away but Naomi didn't argue.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry it's been a little while. Work plus NYCC kept me busy. AND I've really sat down and thought this fic through and where I want to go with it. HUGE thank you to @subversivegrrl talking this thing through with me. And to @almostdefinitelydying for help with the CPTSD bits.
> 
> Getting into the detailed book spoilers now so be forewarned about that.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for Depression, Prostitution [implied], Dissociation

Naomi woke, chest aching fiercely.  She’d been dreaming of him.  Her little boy.  Filip.  Dreamt of holding him tight and never letting go again. Seeing him smile.  Hearing him laugh.  A sob had her curling her knees to her chest, unable to breathe, as tears began to fall.

Checking her hand terminal, it showed several hours remaining before day time but she wouldn’t be going back to sleep any time soon.  A flashing symbol signaled her reminder to go to Amos for her new address.  He’d been moving her around to different flats, helping her hide.  An old trick from an old boss, he’d told her.

Sitting up, Naomi wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her chin atop them.  She couldn’t stop seeing their faces.  The people she’d gotten killed.  Wondering about the hopes and dreams she’d taken from them.  The families left behind.

Her eyes wandered around the small flat.  Empty.  Hollow.  Lifeless.  Nothing marked her presence here.  She couldn’t.  That would mean moving forward without him.  The pain was already too much.  Maybe this was what she deserved.

\--

Hands in her pockets, Naomi made her way through the main corridor of the red light district.  The length of one kilometer and flanked on each side by rows of three-high flats, the district was similar to residential areas of the station.  Red lights above each door that earned the district its name and bright, flashy holo vids advertising explicit services distinguished it from actual residences.  She smiled and nodded at Gage in greeting when he called her name but made no move to wave as she’d learned it was a gesture of interest.  Turning left, she jogged up a set of stairs to the second level and paused.  The red light above Amos’ door was on.  It was the first time she’d known him to take a client.

There was nothing she could do but wait so she turned around, leaning on the railing that ran along upper level walkways, and hummed a tune that had been stuck in her head all day.  Amos had told her once he liked the location and she could see why.  Centrally located and just high enough to see the entire district, it was a perfect vantage point.  It struck her that he’d probably seen her running from Nico long before she’d ever bolted up those stairs.

Naomi turned when she heard her name again and found Rose smiling at her a few flats down.  She smiled in return and walked down to meet her.  Rose stepped out of her flat and joined her on the balcony.  They shared a hug then leaned on the railing, looking out over the people bustling down below.

“Got a break between clients.  Saw you standing out here and decided to say hi.”

“I’m glad to see you.  How is Sytha doing?”

“Wonderful, she’s doing really well.  Her teacher wants to start her on advanced literature modules.  Every weekend, she begs to have a friend stay over now that we’ve got our own place,” she said with a smile.  “I can’t thank you enough-”

“It’s fine, really,” Naomi waved her hand.  “I’m so glad she’s doing well.”  Her voice was warm and sincere.  “No one’s bothered you, have they?”

“There was a guy came looking for you but that was awhile ago.  Hasn’t been back since.”

Naomi nodded then glanced back at Amos’ flat.  Rose followed her gaze and sighed.

“He’s still out of it then.”

Naomi turned to look at her, frowning.  

“Few nights ago, he got called down to handle a john and it got pretty nasty.  Don’t be too shocked when you see him, he’ll be fine.  Taking clients is just . . .” Rose paused.  “He says it’s easier on him right now but . . .” she stopped again, shaking her head.  “I think the fights hurt him less.”

Frown deepening, Naomi tilted her head in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Rose smiled sadly and nodded towards Amos’ flat.  The light had gone off and they watched two people leave.  “You’ll see.”

\--

Her next client arrived so Rose retreated to her flat and Naomi waited a bit longer to give Amos a chance to clean up.  She held her hand terminal up to a small display next to the door and, after a quick scan, the door slid open.  The flat was dim, lights turned low.  As she walked inside, Naomi spotted him sitting in bed.  He sat slumped forward, left arm curled to his chest, the other limp at his side.  Sweat was still drying on his skin.  Dark circles beneath his eyes made him look even paler.  His bottom lip was swollen and split.  A deep purple bruise that had barely begun to fade wrapped the right side of his rib cage and she saw another on his hip that half disappeared beneath the blanket.  Glassy eyes gazed at nothing.

“Amos?”  He didn’t respond. Concerned, Naomi walked around the bed and sat on the edge, facing him.  “What did they _do_ to you?”  She asked, voice aghast.

“. . . I don't know.” His voice was low and he continued to stare at nothing.

Dread settled in her bones.  Had they drugged him?  It wasn’t unheard of.  Slowly, she reached out and cupped his cheek, turning his head to look at her.  The blankness of his expression was terrifying.

A sad smile and clearer eyes softened the expression.  Gently, he pulled her hand away from his face and she withdrew.

“It’s too late for that.  I like you.”  Naomi frowned again.  She had no idea what he meant.

“Amos, what happened?”  It was his turn to frown and he cocked his head at her.

"What always happens . . .  They come over, I check out, they pay, I get to eat tomorrow."  He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the solar system.

". . . Check out?"

Amos nodded.  "It’s easier that way." His voice went soft again.

The horror of it hit like 3g and Naomi visibly recoiled.  She knew what it was like to let someone take what they wanted because it was easier than fighting.  Easier to survive.  A shudder ran through her.  He’d come all the way up the well to get away from this kind of work and yet he hadn’t escaped it at all.  Now she knew what Rose had meant.

Naomi was only beginning to understand the culture of sex work; she didn't think “checking out” was supposed to be part of it.  But Amos said it so matter-of-factly, as if he didn't realize it _wasn't_ normal. She didn't want to follow that train of thought. Not now.  Not yet.  Instead, she brought her focus back to the present. Back to Amos, who was staring at her, confused, and looking oddly young. She mustered a soft smile.

“What do you say you take a break from this and let's get out of here for a little bit?”

\--

There was no blue sky.  No escaping the walls that protected them from the vacuum of space.  But there were birds.  Lush green grass.  And trees.  Naomi watched Amos limp towards one of the older oak trees and run his hand along the bark.

“You’ve never seen a tree before?  No green at all?”

“No more trees in Baltimore.  Still get weeds through cracks in the concrete though.”

Naomi couldn’t comprehend a planet that still looked so green having people that had never seen a tree before.  Gingerly, Amos sat down and leaned against the trunk, running his hand over the grass.  She sat next to him and they watched other people come and go.

Amos nudged her arm and pointed at a food vendor where a couple kids were tricking the vendor out of a couple of sweet treats.  

“Distraction tactic.  That’s classic.”  Amos grinned.  “Good to see some things don’t change no matter where you go.”

“Why would children steal food on Earth?  You have Basic.”  He stared at her, frowning.

“Nutrition blocks get old pretty fast.  And not everyone qualifies for Basic.”

“What would disqualify someone?”

“Being born illegally, usually.”

“They punish children for being _born_?”  Her shock made him laugh.

“You’re _surprised_?”  She glared at him and he shrugged.  “Maybe things would’ve been different if there were more people that gave a shit like you do.”  Guilt soured her stomach.

“I’ve done enough damage,” she murmured.  Amos waited for her to elaborate but Naomi remained quiet and she was grateful when he didn’t push it.

His hand terminal began to beep frantically.  Pulling it from his pocket, Amos stood and began to limp away as quickly as he could.  Naomi scrambled to get up and caught up with him.

“What’s going on?”

“Panic button.  It’s Rose.”

A jolt of fear made her falter but she soon caught up with him again.

“Wait, are you going there?  You’re still hurt from last time!  Shouldn’t you get help or something?”

“What am I gonna do?  Call Star Helix?” Amos scoffed.  “They don’t give a shit.”  He kept moving and Naomi followed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Love to hear your thoughts. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to @subversivegrrl for the beta.
> 
> I really am sorry I don't update more often. Writer's block, work, moving, etc. etc. you know how it is.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The man’s face was purple.  His eyes bulged and mouth frothed, desperately trying to suck in air.  Amos could feel the throbbing of his jugular beneath his palm.  The pulse was slowing.  He felt slight pressure on his arm.  Someone was calling out to him but he didn’t know what they were saying.  They kept repeating it.  Over and over again.  It was becoming clearer.  Louder.  One word.  Two syllables.  Until-

“Amos!”

The rest of the world came back with a sudden snap and he looked around, confused.  Naomi had her hands on his arm.  She stared at him with wide eyes and he could feel her hands trembling.  She was afraid of him, he realized.  Why?  He wasn’t going to hurt her.  His grip on the man’s throat loosened; the john crumpled to the floor coughing and sputtering.  Naomi let go and backed away, still staring at him in shock.  He didn't understand. Why did she stop him?

A whimper from across the room caught their attention.  Rose was still alive.  She hadn’t been moving when they arrived.  Amos moved to her side.  She stared at him with watery eyes and her chin trembled.  Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth and she coughed, face twisting in intense pain.  Punctured lung.   _Fuck._  Rose grabbed his hand as she spasmed, nails digging into his skin.  Gently, he rolled her to her side to keep her from choking.

He heard the door slide open again and turned to see the brothel keeper stepping inside.  She was a tall woman with sharp features and fine clothes.  Crows feet lined the corners of her eyes and the hair at her temples was streaked with silver.  
  
“Mads, she needs medical.  Coughing up blood here.”

Madame’s face softened when she took in the sight of Rose.  She knelt down beside her, stroking her face.  Using the cuff of her sleeve, she wiped the blood from Rose’s chin.

“The credits have been transferred to your account Mr. Burton.  Thank you for your help.  I’ll take it from here.  If you would be so kind as to take the trash-” she nodded at the john still sputtering on the floor, “with you on your way out.”

“Keep me updated on Rose.”

* * *

Amos dumped the guy outside the district with a warning about what would happen if he showed up again.  Naomi watched the man stumble away rubbing his throat before she rounded on Amos.

“What the _hell_ was that?”  She caught up to him easily, his gait still a slow limp.

“Was what?”  He cocked his head at her but kept walking.

“You nearly killed him!”

“He nearly killed Rose.”

“ _This_ is what protecting them means?”  She asked.  “You get _paid_ to beat the crap out of people?”

“Hell yeah I get paid,” Amos laughed.  Naomi halted in shock.

“Is that all this is to you? _A job_?”

Amos turned on her and she flinched.  He frowned but took a step back and let his shoulders drop.  He kept his voice soft when he spoke.

“Squeezin’ the life outta that prick beats the fuck out of helping a six year old plan a funeral.”

Naomi gaped at him, at a sudden loss for words.  Amos didn’t wait for her to find them.  He turned on his heel and limped away.

* * *

 

The door slid shut behind him and the lights brightened.  One glance at the bed and he realized he’d forgotten to change the bedding from earlier.  Amos leaned against the door with a sigh, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.  His knee and shoulder throbbed.  A weight had settled in the center of his chest, an ache he couldn’t pinpoint.  Absentmindedly rubbing at it, he approached the wall next to the bed and opened a compartment, pulling a new blanket out.  Wrapping it around himself, he sank onto the bed and curled up, hoping sleep would find him soon.

He should’ve known better.

The sound of heavy footsteps coming down the hall had his heart pounding.  He couldn’t move.  There was no escape.  He felt ready to throw up but the heaving never came.  The steps were only getting louder and louder.  And then-

Silence.

He suddenly felt hot acrid breath in his ear and tried to scream but no sound came.  Fingers, _so many fingers_ , dug into his skin like fish hooks and dragged him down, down, down into darkness.

A woman’s scream jolted him.  He was in a long dark hallway with a single door at the end of it. That’s where the screaming was coming from.  He tried to run towards it but his limbs were heavy and slow, like he was trying to run through water.  He had to get to her, before it was too late.  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get any closer.  The screaming suddenly stopped.

“ _She died how she lived,_ ” echoed in his head.

Amos woke with shuddering breaths.  He rolled to the side of the bed and sat up, shaking terribly.  Dropping his face into his hands, he was surprised to discover he’d been crying.  Wiping the tears away, he sat huddled in his blanket for several minutes until the shaking calmed.

Blanket around his shoulders, he stood on weak legs and retrieved a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen.  Slumping into his desk chair, he downed half the bottle in one go.  After the day he’d had, he should’ve known Baltimore was close to the surface.  Too close.

* * *

 

Naomi kept trying to pay attention to what Rose was saying but found herself continually distracted by being in her old dwelling.  Painful memories were everywhere.  In the shadow of the hallway where she could just see the permanent scribbles of a toddler on a bedroom door.  In the worn carpet where she’d spent countless nights pacing with a colicky infant.  On the couch she currently sat on, where once she lay and read bedtime stories to Filip.  Her jaw clenched and she swallowed thickly, trying once again to focus on Rose.

She’d been released from the hospital after a week to continue recuperating at home.  The bruises were fading but she still moved gingerly.  It would still be a couple weeks before she could work again.  Naomi brought a few pre-made meals and a movie she thought Rose and Sytha might like to watch.  Rose invited her in for tea and to catch up.

“Do you need someone to pick up Sytha from school?”

“No, Amos will be getting her for me.”  Naomi’s spine stiffened and she inhaled sharply.  “He asked me to give this to you if you stopped by,” Rose swiped her hand terminal screen and an address appeared on Naomi’s terminal.  “Said you haven’t been around . . .”

Naomi could only nod, staring at her tea.

“You’re spooked.”

She nodded again, eyes fixed on her mug.  Rose waited.

“He nearly killed a man,” Naomi said quietly.  “And thought nothing of it.”  She shuddered at the memory of the look in his eyes.  “He was so _calm_.”

“It _is_ scary,” Rose said gently, taking a sip of tea.  “But if it’s so easy for him, why is he protecting sex workers like me?”  Naomi’s brow furrowed.  “He’s turned down some pretty nice offers from the OPA groups around here.” She looked at Rose in surprise.  “He could be doing a lot more skull cracking and making more money if that’s what he wanted . . . but he keeps us safe instead.”

* * *

 

The door chimed, alerting him to a visitor.  He was surprised when he realized it was Naomi standing out there.  Sluggishly, he made his way to the door and let it slide open, squinting at the brighter light.  Naomi smiled but it fell when she took in his appearance.  Amos knew he looked like shit - completely disheveled, dark circles under his eyes, and in dire need of a shower.  Behind him, she could see the many empty liquor bottles that littered the flat, testament to the bender he’d been on the last few weeks.  He simply squinted at her until she spoke.

“Are you okay?”  Her eyes glanced behind him at the empty bottles.  Amos grunted and shrugged a shoulder.

“Trouble sleeping.”

“Can I come in?” He shrugged again but moved out of the doorway and back to the desk chair.  “I wanted to apologize for the last time we spoke-”

He grunted again.  “Nah, I scare most people.  Probably the right reaction to have.”  He said it so matter-of-factly but there was also a tone of sad acceptance that made her heart twinge.

“No, I . . .” She went silent, trying to organize her thoughts.  “When I was younger I fell in with the wrong crowd . . .  Fell for their big ideas.” Her eyes went to the floor.  “. . . Until people got hurt.   _I_ hurt them,” she said softly, throat tightening.  Naomi went quiet for a moment until she was confident her voice was steady again.  “I’m afraid of following bad people again.”

“Me too,” he replied softly and Naomi looked up at him.  They had more in common than not, she realized.

“You did it for the right reasons.”  He stared at her in surprise, eyebrows raised.  “I’m glad you were there.”  She smiled softly.

Amos cocked his head at her.  The weight that had settled in his chest lifted and he suddenly realized that her opinion meant something to him.  He found himself returning the smile with a shy half smile of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think Amos is not quite ride or die for Naomi yet but his gut is definitely telling him he can trust her.
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a little fun with the sequence of events. I promise it'll make sense.
> 
> Once again thank you to @subversivegrrl for reading it over for me! Shout out to @allez-argeiphontes for the help as well.

Lights went red and klaxons sounded, warning of imminent reactor meltdown. Amos followed Naomi onto the engineering deck as she pulled up diagnostic displays.

“The sensors are saying coolant pressure is low and dropping!” She yelled over the alarms.

“The lines have to be broken. We need to find them and get ‘em patched up!” Amos pulled up a display of the coolant lines to figure out where they were losing pressure. “There!” He jabbed a finger at the screen, showing it to Naomi. She nodded and followed after him as he took off to find the broken lines and fix them.

Amos yanked the panel housing the coolant lines clean off, throwing it aside. He froze. The lines were fine. None of them spraying coolant all over the place or even leaking.

“What the fuck?” He looked at Naomi. “The sensors said it was losing pressure right he-”

A massive explosion cut him off.

**\-- Earlier That Day--**

A soft chime roused her from slumber. Naomi tapped the screen of her hand terminal to silence it before sitting up. Rubbing her eyes did not erase the dark circles beneath them. She didn’t know why she still set her alarm so early. There was no need. No child to wake, dress, or feed breakfast. Tossing the covers from her legs, she stalked to the bathroom. The freedom to lie in felt more like a cage.

She sipped tea at a table that would sit two. The screen running the morning newsfeed went half listened to as she stared at the empty chair across from her. A brief flash of Filip sitting there babbling and messily eating cereal made her heart clench and she gasped softly. Time for a shower.

* * *

After performing a final inspection, Naomi wiped hydraulic fluid from her hands on an old rag before stuffing it in a back pocket. Her skull thrummed from the music the other mechs and engineers listened to. At least it kept heavy thoughts at bay, she mused.

“How’s it lookin’?” Russell, chief engineer of the Vespira asked, approaching to inspect her work as well.

“Just finished up. Lines are all good.”

“That’s record time, Nagata.” Naomi shrugged. She didn’t tell him that the problem wasn’t the lines but the sensor regulating them. Until it was calibrated properly, it would keep flooding the lines and they’d keep breaking. He’d figure it out eventually. It wasn’t an urgent repair. “You sure you don’t want me to put a word in for that head mechanic position? You’ve got some real talent here and the degrees to back it up. Hate to see you waste them.”

She regarded him with a cool stare.

“Do that and I quit.” Russell put his hands up in mock surrender before shrugging and walking away, shaking his head.

* * *

“Nagata, you’ve got a visitor!” At the sound of her name, Naomi straightened and flipped the welding visor up, looking across the cargo bay. She spotted Amos standing next to Russell at the airlock. He lifted his arm showing her a bag of what looked like takeout containers and she waved him over.

Moving to a bench, she sat down as he approached. She removed the welding mask and pulled off thick gloves. The smell reached her first and her stomach grumbled. Amos straddled the bench and set the food between them.

“This is a nice surprise,” she smiled and accepted a container of vegetables and noodles.

“Was in the neighborhood,” he shrugged, digging into vat-grown beef tips and noodles. “Got your new flat assignment too.”

“What brings you all the way out to the docks?” Naomi asked before taking a bite.  Amos gave a half shrug and then a boyish smile spread across his face.

“I loved watching the ships as a kid. Dreamt of being on one someday,” he gazed around the cargo bay, smile growing wider. She swore she could see stars in his eyes. Naomi smiled. She could relate. “Don’t think I’ll ever grow out of wanting to see these things up close and personal.”

“What do you think of this one?” She asked and Amos snorted.

“Pretty sure the only reason this thing doesn’t fall out of the sky is there’s no sky to fall out of.”

Naomi laughed. “Why do you say that?” He was right but she was curious to know how he knew.  
“The lox tanks alone are gonna send this bucket back to the stone ages. They make the Merlin 50s look stable. Not to mention the reactor’s a barium oxide SC short of being a proper HMF Tokamak.”

She blinked at him in surprise. “You’re more than a little familiar with aerospace engineering.” Amos shrugged, taking another bite.

“Took aptitude tests on Luna . . . but washed out of classes,” he finished quietly, continuing to eat his food.

“Doesn’t sound like the material was the problem.”

“Ships make more sense than people. But you gotta get through people to get to the ships.”

“Not necessarily.” Amos looked up at her from his food, head cocked in question. Naomi smiled.

**\-- Present--**

A massive explosion cut him off, bathing them both in white light. And then the simulation crumbled and disappeared, leaving them standing in a large empty room.

“Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?” Naomi teased. They’d done the simulation several times now, each one ending in disaster.

He stared at her in bewilderment. “. . . no?” His cheeks were turning pink and he looked away. Naomi’s smile fell.

“Whoa, hey,” she rubbed his arm in a soothing gesture. He frowned, watching her hand. She withdrew it. “Going for the coolant lines is a good instinct.”

“I don’t get it. The reactor’s overheating but I go where the sensors say the lines are busted and they’re fine.”

“You’re not listening to her,” Naomi chided gently.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“The ship will _tell_ you what’s wrong if you just _listen_ to her.” Amos was about to snap a frustrated retort when it clicked.

“Run the sim again.” Naomi smirked and activated the program, muting the alarms. He walked up to the diagnostic displays, reading them. “Pause.” The lights stopped flashing and the stats quit dropping.

“What do they say?”

“They say the coolant pressure is low and dropping. That the lines are losing pressure here,” he pointed at the screen again.

“So what is she telling you?”

“That she's a dirty little liar. The sensors are wrong,” he looked to Naomi for confirmation. Her smile grew and he began to smile himself. “Resume.” The simulation continued. Amos opened the control panel for the reactor sensors and sparks flew. “This thing is wired for shit. It’s overloading the sensors and throwing them off.” He flipped the master switch to cut power to the panel. “They overload the coolant lines until they break and then the reactor overheats for real.” The emergency lights stopped flashing and seconds later the simulation disappeared.

“Yes!” Naomi beamed. He returned her smile with a proud grin of his own. Her limbs tingled with excitement and her chest was warm with joy. Happy . . . she was feeling _happy_. It had been hours and she’d been doing something she loved without holding back, something she missed terribly, and she was feeling something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Naomi threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. “Thank you. I didn’t know I needed this.”

“Uh, you’re welcome,” Amos said sheepishly, not really sure what he’d done. He gently pulled her arms away and stepped back but he was still smiling. Naomi blushed wondering what she’d done wrong but took the correction for what it was.

“Here are the access codes,” she swiped her hand terminal sending him the codes that would give him access to the learning material from her grad programs. Amos’ eyes widened and he blinked at her.

“Are you serious? You’re just . . . giving them to me? For free?” He frowned. Naomi smiled and resisted the urge to pat his cheek.

“Consider it a thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

Amos regarded her for a moment. Experience told him there was always a cost. But his history with Naomi reminded him of her previous generosity with Rose. Ignoring the warning bells of his experience, he smiled.

“Thank you. At least let me buy you a drink?”

“I am not above a free drink,” she laughed.

* * *

They stumbled down an alley, laughing loudly. It was several hours past the day cycle.

“I woke up,” Amos slurred, “and my _shoes_ were gone. He’d taken my _shoes_!” He doubled over with laughter and Naomi cracked up beside him, clutching her stomach and trying to breath from laughing so hard.

“Who _does_ that?” She wiped tears from her eyes.

“Hey!” They looked up and spotted a five-person Star Helix patrol approaching them. All of them were Earthers. The smiles fell from their faces.

“Uh-oh,” Amos said, straightening up.

“What are you two doing out so late? Where are you going?” The team lead asked. Neither of them missed he had a hand on his pistol. Amos didn’t miss the hard grip Naomi had on his arm. Seemed the Belt and Baltimore had a lot in common.

“We had some drinks. Now we’re going home,” Amos answered, gesturing vaguely in the direction they were headed and subtly putting himself between Naomi and the patrol.

“That way? The brothels are that way.”

“Yeah,” he said flatly.

“Oh I see, you took your _escort_ out for some drinks huh? Now you wanna go-” he gestured crudely and the rest of the team laughed.

“Actually I’m the escort. So if you don’t mind I’d like to give my client what they paid for. Can we go?”

The lead looked him up and down, taking in his Earther build. “You can go.” His hand came off the pistol on his hip and he smiled the kind of smile both of them had seen countless times before. The kind of smile that always preceded pain. “The skinny stays.”

Naomi’s nails dug into his skin, her hand trembling, and Amos heard her sharp intake at the slur. He glanced at the lead then at her, taking in her wide eyes staring up at him. He shrugged and pried her hand off his arm.

“Sorry, I’m not paid enough for this.” Amos backed away from her as the lead approached.

“Amos!” Naomi’s voice nearly came out as a terrified squeak. She began to back away as the team stalked past Amos towards her.

“Your own kind not good enough for you?” One of them taunted. “Gotta pay an Earther to show you a good ti-”

His head was smashed into his partner’s and they both hit the ground, out cold. In the second it took the other three to realize something was wrong, Amos had picked up the third patrolman and threw him into the lead, knocking them both to the ground.

“Run!” he yelled at Naomi before his jaw snapped shut and his body went rigid as volts of electricity coursed through him. Amos collapsed to the ground, his vision getting dark around the edges. He saw the two he knocked down getting back up and turning on him. Behind them he saw Naomi staring at him, frightened, before she turned and took off down the alley.

The lead stepped into his line of sight, a baton in his hand. His vision went black.

* * *

He heard a voice but it was muted. Amos groaned, curled up on the ground. He felt long calloused fingers on his face and pried his eyes open. One of them, anyway. His left was swollen shut. Blobs of color came together in the form of Naomi. She was cupping his face. Blinking at her, he frowned.

“Where . . . go?” He mumbled, bloody drool oozing from the corner of his mouth.

“I faked an urgent call at the precinct to get them called back.”

“Smart,” he grinned a bloody grin and then his eye rolled back as he passed out.

* * *

Amos groaned and opened his eyes. He was surprised to find himself in his own bed in his own flat. Pain screamed through his abdomen when he tried to move. More than one broken rib but he knew they hadn’t punctured a lung. His left shoulder was dislocated again. Great.

At the sound of him waking, Naomi approached and sat next to him on the edge of the bed. He was surprised to see her.

“How did you get me here?” His voice was rough. Naomi smiled softly.

“Rose helped me.” She pressed her palm to his forehead checking for a fever. “They could’ve killed you,” she said quietly. He grunted.

“Kept you safe.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?” Naomi froze and stared at him. “I’m not lookin’ to die or anything. Just don’t think it matters if I do or don’t.” Her chin trembled and she moved her hand to his cheek, stroking the stubble. Once again, he placed a gentle hand on her wrist to stop the movement.

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” she asked, withdrawing her hand. He shook his head.

“I just don’t know what it means when you do that. Pretty sure you don’t want to be a client, right?”

Naomi frowned and cocked her head at him. “No one’s ever just . . . been gentle with you? Without wanting to . . .?” Amos shook his head again.

“My mom maybe, I don’t remember. But everyone else . . .” he shrugged and flinched as his shoulder protested the movement.

A sudden sickening clarity hit Naomi. She swallowed it with a watery smile.

“Does it bother you when I touch you?” Amos shook his head.

“‘S kinda nice, actually.” Naomi’s smile brightened. She took his hand in one of her own and stroked his cheek with her other one.

“Then know that all I ever mean by it is that I care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I would love to know your thoughts!


End file.
